The tea ceremony is one of the most meaningful parts of a Chinese wedding. It's how the newlyweds show respect to their elders, and how those elders welcome them into the family and give their blessing. If it's new to you, here's how the whole thing works.
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What the tea ceremony is
The couple, usually in traditional dress, kneel or stand before their closest relatives and serve them tea with both hands. It's a gesture of honour and gratitude, especially toward parents and in-laws. In return, the elders drink, accept the marriage, and offer their blessings.
What you'll need
A few practical things make it run smoothly:
- A way to boil water, and a Chinese tea, usually a red variety
- A red tea set, often decorated with symbols of luck and happiness
- Optional extras in the tea like lotus seeds or red dates for good fortune
- Cushions for kneeling
- Chairs set up for the elders being served
Who's there and where it happens
It's an intimate gathering of close family, often with a couple of bridal party members helping things along. Traditionally it's held at the groom's home first and then the bride's, though plenty of couples now do it all in one place with both families together.
The order and how it flows
Elders are served by seniority: parents first, then grandparents, then aunts and uncles by age. The couple presents the tea with both hands and a respectful greeting, the elder drinks, and then offers a red envelope and some words of blessing in return.
Gifts and timing
Elders typically give lai see (red envelopes with money inside) and sometimes gold jewelry as blessings for the couple. The ceremony usually happens early in the day and runs about 30 to 60 minutes, before everyone changes into more modern attire for the rest of the celebration.
It's a short part of the day, but often one of the most moving. If you're planning one, give it a proper slot in the timeline so it never feels rushed.
Date
July 24, 2022